“Self-care is never a selfish act – it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others. Anytime we can listen to true self and give the care it requires, we do it not only for ourselves, but for the many others whose lives we touch.”
Parker Palmer
With the holiday season upon us and the coming months of cold weather for the majority of us, it is a perfect time to revisit the benefits of self-care. Most of us get so busy with our everyday lives we forget to take care of ourselves. Sometimes it can be months or even years between the times we do anything for ourselves. My grandmother was one of the happiest people I ever knew. I can’t remember the number of times she told me how important it was to take care of your health, love yourself, and do things for yourself regularly.
She made time weekly to do one thing for herself that made her feel better. Most weeks it was a visit to her friends for lunch before her big grocery run. Some weeks it was shaving a little money off the grocery bill and using that to buy herself something small. It was those little things that she did that made her happy. She always said, if you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to take care of your family. She knew way back then, in the 70’s, what researchers are telling us now.
Researchers today typically discuss three types of self-care. The first type of self-care is “emotional “. Things we can do to support ourselves emotionally are typically things that help us de-stress and give us peace. I find peace when I am outside either just taking a walk, or doing some gardening. I have recently started reaching out to friends I haven’t talked to or seen in a while, due to the pandemic, and catching up on their lives.
One thing that can be stressful at first, but is actually a huge de-stressor is to disconnect from technology for short periods. Even though I grew up long before cell-phones and smart-phones, I found myself very stressed out if my phone wasn’t within reach. For some reason, I felt like the world would end if I missed a call or some ones social media post. The truth is, I now go outside to walk, play with my dog, or garden and leave my phone in the house. It is a great feeling to not be connected 100% of the time.
“I lied and said I was busy. I was busy;
Brittin Oakman
but not in a way most people understand. I was busy taking deeper breaths. I was busy silencing irrational thoughts. I was busy calming a racing heart. I was busy telling myself I am okay. Sometimes, this is my busy – and I will not apologize for it.”
The second type of self-care is “physical”. As I am getting older it is more of a priority to eat well, keep myself moving, and take care of my body in general. Small, simple, and in-expensive things are key to being able to sustain physical self-care. A few years ago, after suffering for years with odd allergies and pains, I went to a Functional Medicine Doctor who has helped me make some simple diet and habit changes that have helped a lot. I treat myself to goodies once in a while, but I feel so much better when I eat right. Along with a diet change, I also try to spend more time outside, and get as much passive exercise as possible along with walking regularly. We only have one body, and I try to remind myself that everything I put into my body impacts how I feel for the next few days.
The third type of self-care is “spiritual”. I don’t believe researchers are saying you must be religious, but what they are saying is that you should connect to something or someone in some way. If you are religious make sure to take the time to cultivate that relationship. Regardless of your religious beliefs or affiliations, it is important to connect with nature, animals and people and take time to appreciate the beauty of life. When I am feeling overwhelmed or stressed, I usually take a walk and spend my time focusing on the natural things around me. Plants, trees, and animals are all amazing to see and watch. I allow my beliefs and spirituality to guide me, as well as my love and appreciation for nature. Cultivating my spirituality has made me feel immensely better about the world and people around me as well as allowed me to connect to others more deeply in my community in general based on our shared beliefs.
The truth is, we each have to find what works best for us because the benefits of self-care are very important. What works for me, may not work for you and vice versa but the benefits are too great to ignore. Finding a few things that you can do each week or each month that will ultimately create and maintain a better you or the best you, is priceless. As difficult as it may seem sometimes, we need to find the time in our busy schedules and put ourselves first which paradoxically allows us to give to those around us that much more frequently. Everyone around us, reaps the benefits of self care when it’s done in a healthy way to the point that it can significantly improve interpersonal relationships on all familial and partnership levels. Naturally, sometimes our form of self-care in any given week will include activities with other people while other times it wont. As in all things, balance is important and not getting overly ‘self-care’ and thinking it’s always all about ourselves either.
Benefits of self-care…
- Improves physical health.
- Reduces stress and anxiety.
- Can boost your self-esteem.
- Protects and improves your mental health.
- Leads to better relationships.
Suggestions on how to get started…
Make a list of things you have been wanting to do or things you feel you have neglected to do for yourself. Keep your list between 5-10 to start. Keep your list with you, and once every week do one thing on your list, maybe two if you can.
Possible items for your list: Taking a walk, go swimming somewhere in nature, go to the doctor, disconnect from technology, get a massage, take a longer hot bath or long hot shower, meditation, read your favorite book, call an old friend and catch-up, give yourself a facial, go to bed early, say no, listen to your favorite music, and spend time with loved ones.
Isla Skye Herbals 